Steady as a turtle
Slippery as an eel
Flappy as a penguin
Sneaky as a seal.
Strutting like a Peafowl
Cozy as a Loris
Ghostly as a Snowy owl
Nosy as my neighbour Doris.
From all the animals in the zoo
It’s goodnight from them to you
From me the zookeeper
Tomorrow I can’t wait to meet ya!
Jamie,
ORRsome poem. James Carter is going to be impressed. You have rhyme and great rhythm. I especially like this part:-
“From all the animals in the zoo
It’s goodnight from them to you
From me the zookeeper
Tomorrow I can’t wait to meet ya!”
I can hear Russell and Ian saying very similar words.
Well done.
Jamie – what can I say? Congratulations for starters! This is f a n t a s t i c! A whole 12 liner with your very own ending! Some really unexpected creatures too – a loris, a snowy owl, a pea fowl – and even your neighbour!!!! (actually, I’ve written a poem about our neighbour’s cat, Sid..) And you’ve got some great adjectives too – ‘ghostly’ / ‘nosy’ (nice alliteration with ‘neighbour’ there) ‘sneaky’. Really expressive. I also like the way you shift rhyme scheme in the last verse – so that the pairs of lines rhyme together – very clever – and gives it a punch at the end. And what an original rhyme too – ‘zookeeper’ / ‘to meet ya’. Jamie – please promise me you’ll keep reading, please keep writing? Have a great day!
Jamie – I also love the fact that you are a perfectionist. Real poets care about every syllable, every word. It’s great to have Doris in the poem now! Plus that’s such a great title. Even the zoo gets its own zippy adjective ‘Zesty’. Great stuff!