I glowered at a rustling bush, pawing the snow. Suddenly, a male wolf jumped out of it like my brother when I was little, always scaring us. But it wasn’t my brother. It wasn’t any of my Tribe. It wasn’t a Silver. No way. Was it a Black? ‘There are others out there. Dangerous Tribes.’ My Grandpa’s words echoed in my head. Yes, it was a Black. Taking a step forward, he growled under his breath. Now I could smell him, a mix of rotten fish and carcass. Scattering snow behind me, I ran towards the Forbidden Territories, away from my Tribe. But I didn’t care, not now, not where death is involved. The wolf was around three times larger than me. I knew that I was in grave danger.
Nobody to look out for me.No Grandpa, no Mum, no Dad, no brother. No Tribe. I was well and truly lost, fate was on its way.
This is great Bethany. Reminds me of Michelle Paver’s writing in Wolf Boy. I love the language you’ve used.
Great writing Bethany. I love the opening line and the way you have written it from the perspective of a wolf. I would love to hear what happened next – a sure sign of good writing – build up of tension works well, as does the language you use. Well done. Keep writing.
This writing just leaps off the page! It reads sooo well. You have great control over the rhythm and flow of the language. It’s like an extract from a forthcoming novel – for you know these characters, their relations, situations – its all so vivid. I have just four words of advice: PLEASE KEEP WRITING, BETHANY!
THANK YOU FOR COMMENTING! IT MADE MY DAY WHEN I READ YOUR COMMENTS! 🙂
Fabulous vocab