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The Pirate David’s adventure

My pirate David loves to go on adventures,especially on treasure hunts. And he has a thousand maps.David loves Gold chains and Jewellery. His galleon would be full of Gold.
One day,he had food and David was boasting about it because everyday he barely gets food. So on this day he got more then he expected so he was telling everyone.
Suddenly, his food fell off the galleon and it got soaked he didn’t know what to do.Everyone was laughing at him he felt miserable and worried because he has nothing else to eat.
As quick as a flash,David ignored everyone and he sailed across to a desert Island and he saw a coconut tree he said to himself that’s only what I could eat now.So he cracked it with his sword and ate it and drank the water in the coconut.The sand was boiling he couldn’t even stand on it, as it was boiling. So he took the coconut and ate it on his galleon.
Happily,there was this amazing person who followed him all the way and brought him food.Do you know who it was?It was his brother that looked so different he didn’t even recognise him.They hugged each other really tight. And they ate the food and had a long nap as his brother brought a bed and a sheet and duvet.

One thought on “The Pirate David’s adventure”

  1. Diana James says:

    Dear Leeya, thank you for posting your writing on the blog. I love the fact that your pirate is called David; it made me smile. I am wondering what his brother is called.
    Your story has a beginning, middle and end. Well done for using adverbials that show how David was feeling (happily); how something happened (as quick as a flash) and when (one day). My tip for you would be to read your work aloud and to check for where you could add punctuation and some description e.g. could you describe his food? What do pirates eat?
    Leeya, thank you for sharing your writing with us all. I really enjoyed reading it. Don’t forget to comment on the other authors’ writing on the blog.
    Happy Writing,
    Mrs James

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